Pressure
Life is always full of pressure. And frankly, I'm about tired of the pressure that inevitably comes with adulting, especially the kind that gets imposed upon you by other "adults."
Why are people always putting their desires on others as if they know what's best for or what that person desires? In some instances, it can almost be said that people impose their desires on others in the essence of living vicariously, whether that's in the spirit of not being able to live out those dreams themselves or in the spirit of seeing your potential and sincerely wanting the best for you.
Different pressures of life naturally occur at various stages of our lives. In our present culture though, I'd say that the first taste of adult-like pressure presents itself when high school is coming to an end and we're automatically pressured into applying for, getting into, selecting, and going to college. Let’s face it, unless people actually need college for specialized career paths like doctors, lawyers, nurses, engineers, etc., even the concept of going to college immediately after high school will soon fade away as the youth realize the unnecessary lifetime expense that come with it (sidebar: unless one of these next Presidents makes something shake; but I wouldn't hold my breath on that), and are courageous enough to forge their own careers into entrepreneurship ventures that can be lucrative without the additional debt and useless degrees we often get.For most of us who have gone to college, oftentimes once we earn a bachelor’s, then comes the pressure of finding a job in our field/in a career related to our degree - sometimes this pressure is innate, because we’ve spent so many hours obtaining this degree, borrowed large sums of money and expected to begin repayment in a few months after proudly gallivanting across the stage in front of friends, family, and classmates; and we want to prove that our time and money was well spent on that piece of paper (ie. diploma/degree). Yet, other times, the pressure to use that degree is extrinsic.
But if it’s not the pressure of finding a job in our field, there’s the pressure of going back to college and getting another degree (and subsequently wasting, I mean...borrowing, more money).After this, or even during the whole process of attending college, is the pressure of finding the right person to marry (because I mean what else are you there for? You can’t multi-task?!). Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. Once you find the right person or who you think the right person is that you desire to spend the rest of your life with, Then everyone sticks their nose in again asking, “are y’all talking about marriage?”, “when is he going to propose?” or if you’re a guy “do you plan on marrying her?”, when are you going to propose to that girl?” NEWS FLASH! Not everyone wants to even get married! So let’s stop assuming that’s what everyone wants just because they have dated for a long time and seem to be happy together. Also, NEWS FLASH, that’s ok. I knew marriage was for me and I want it to be for everyone else with like desires, but I don’t spew that rhetoric on everyone I encounter. However, if the couple does decide to take the next step and the engagement happens, the pressure sets in to set a wedding date. The wedding date is set and finally the momentous, grand occasion of a wedding happens, oftentimes happening quicker than we expected. Well that was fun.....
Well after that’s over, I’m sure we all can relate to the pressure that is placed on a couple after the wedding (and for some long before they even have a specific life partner on their radar). You knew it was coming.....KIDS! Like people never even stop to ask if we actually WANT kids first, they just automatically assume or in conversation, they say things like, “when are y’all having a baby,” “y’all are next!” “or how many kids do y’all want?” Look, get out of my face. Like what if ZERO was my answer? Thankfully it’s not, but I still don’t like people placing their societal view on others. I’m sure if “I don’t want any children” were my sentiments, that’d still be met with some kind of backlash. Well, what’s left after you satisfy that last proposition with one kid? You guessed it! Time for another one... Then we raise our kids and by the time they get to middle or high school, the cycle usually repeats itself.
Baby I hope all this pressure that we put on people in this society is making diamonds so that at least some good came out of it. There is nothing wrong with motivating, providing positive reinforcement, and wanting the best for people, but their best may not always align with what our best is for them in our minds and that should be okay. Let’s just stop placing unnecessary pressure, expectations, and propositions on each other. Life is not some one-size-fits-all trajectory that everyone has to follow the exact same way. That’s why individuality is a thing. Also, I’ve become less and less of a fan of most traditions (because where many traditions are concerned, I see no real value). Keep the expectations you might have for me because I will almost always try to oppose them when I am aware that they exist. Throw them out or save them for yourself.
