Baby Mama Drama

I do not condone it.

I am not here for it.

I do not stan’ for it.

I do not support it.

And I give it ZERO stars - absolutely not recommended!

Now let me say this, females are not always the antagonist in these types of situations. Contrary to popular belief, baby daddy drama is also a thing. There, I said it. Take it from Drake, some guys be “in their feelings” too. But if you are on this type of time (and by this type, I mean drama), you need to get off of it. Be like Elsa in Frozen and just LET IT GO. Cease and desist. I know it’s cliché to say, but life is too short!

As a disclaimer, the only perspective I can give on this topic is that of an innocent girlfriend's, as opposed to that of a baby mama’s. But trust me, that is way more than enough to formulate some logical and experienced theories on the matter. Additionally, the only maternal figures that I consider “baby mamas“ are the ones who embody the stereotypical behaviors of illogical difficulty, negativity, false accusations, overall ratchetness, and unrequited love.

Anyway, I’m not gon’ even hold you. Since we are gathered here today, let’s play a fun, familiar game of “Never Have I Ever.” Some of the questions may get a little confusing but stay with me, reread if you have to.

• Have you ever contacted your ex’s new boo on some “I’m just coming to you as a woman,” but instead of acting like a woman during the conversation, you decided to argue with and insult the new boo the whole time?

• Have you ever created a fake social media page from the perspective of another chick to stalk your ex’s new boo and/or sent the new boo messages from this page with false claims about your ex?

• Have you ever created a fake social media page from the perspective of your “new boyfriend” to make it seem like your new boyfriend is confronting your ex?

• Have you ever contacted a friend of your ex’s new boo, in order to reach the new boo?

• Have you ever called your ex’s new boo to slander your ex, get into a yelling match with the new boo, or feed the new boo lies about you and your ex still dealing with each other?

• Have you ever copied your ex’s new boo’s social media profile and created a fake message, appearing to come from the new boo to yourself, as though new boo is harassing you?

• Have you ever tried to sabotage a happy moment between your ex and his/her new boo by sending photoshopped pictures of your ex with someone else and/or fake sonogram pictures also making it seem like your ex impregnated someone else?

• Have you ever told your ex that if either of you plan to have someone they are dating around your child, the other parent should meet the new dating partner, but when it was time to meet your ex’s new boo, you decided you didn’t want to, although you proposed the idea?

• Have you ever intentionally lied to people who also know your ex about the simplest of things regarding your ex, as if they don’t also communicate with him/her and will find out the actual truth later (or have you ever taken for granted that the friend you’re lying to about your ex already knows the truth of the matter)?

• While acting out in any of the ways above, have you ever simultaneously played the victim as if you were just an innocent bystander?

If you’ve engaged in any of the above behaviors, congratulations! You played YOURSELF! Quite frankly, these actions are lame. By the way, I have been the “new boo” in all those scenarios at one time or another …… but I am not a victim! As a result though, I have concluded that people like that are miserable and bitter to say the least, all due to losing a romantic relationship with a person who was no longer interested in maintaining one with them, and dess (that’s) sad. I imagine that these are the kind of people who would throw a temper tantrum every time they were told no as a child. You have to be one hurt, lost, and pathetic individual to dedicate your time to this kind of nonsense, especially when you have young children whom you could otherwise focus on. At least for their sake, let that hurt go boo! On a more compassionate note though, people assuming these levels of low, should probably seek therapy to get through the emotional trauma they are experiencing or have experienced. There is nothing wrong with doing that. “Love” can make you do some crazy things, but that sentiment should not be used to excuse “bad” behavior and to avoid seeking help. At some point, you’ve got to channel your inner Tina Turner and ask yourself, “what’s love got to do with it?”

Lastly, it is okay to be hurt and it is okay to be disappointed that a situation did not work out the way you would have preferred. Happens to the best of us, love! How you react and regulate your emotions however, will say a lot about your character. I have personally always lived by the mantra that “there are more fish in the sea!” This mindset aligns with a personal possession of confidence and optimism. The best revenge you could ever get on the partner from a failed relationship, is by moving on, even if that means moving on to the common “I’m just focusing on me right now” sentiment. You should start to exude an energy that exemplifies that the actions of someone else do not affect you, especially when that person has said and shown that they couldn’t give two flying flips about you. The ultimate goal is to let that hurt go! It’s a vibe; and a personal sense of pride would tell you that you’re still a bad bish or that you’re still that n*gga. We should not give anyone so much power that we blame our poor behavior on them triggering us or for causing us to act irrational and out of character, repeatedly. Most of all, don’t play the victim to circumstances you helped create. Stop being Bitter Petty Betty or Negative Nancy and then pointing the finger at someone else, that’s childish. You are the only person who controls you, and it is time to be accountable.

At the end of the day, learn to be selfless. I know it might be easier said than done, but that’s not an excuse to not do it. Remove yourself from the equation because it’s really not about you anymore. Direct all of your positive energy towards your child or children. After all, that is what’s most important anyway!