Girls Trips Are Essential

And if you feel otherwise, then your circle just doesn’t have the right gworls!!!

Now, I don’t want to sound like the mommy friend whose problems and circumstances always seem bigger or more important than those of her unwed & childless friends, but baby when I get to kick it with my best gworls a few times a year now that I am a wife + a mother + I live far away from my people, I really have a newfound appreciation for those moments/girls trips!

Last weekend with 3 of my best friends was everything I KNEW* I needed. I’ve been friends with 2 of these women since high school (rare amongst people I know) and 1 since freshman year of college (also rare). Girls trips/weekends are essential … here’s why … As we get older and naturally have more things vying for our attention, we simultaneously and naturally prioritize work, immediate family, and hopefully alone time and self-care, and subconsciously, often at the expense of spending time with our friends and extended family. The people who were actually with us shooting in the gym, often get the shortest end of stick when it comes to our time. It sucks to hear, but it’s a fact of life.

Currently, I’m dealing with the demanding and stressfulness of cyber officer training + the loneliness of being away from my husband and being a solo parent with a toddler (who is experiencing his own challenges right now). Since I have been in this new state for this temporary duty assignment for the last few months, I have had Covid and recovered; then got a bad cold all over again about a month and a half later (after my baby started the first daycare here where he cried everyday that I dropped him off, which is not like him); then I stressed about his well-being at the first daycare so in a panic I found him another one within a week (after calling about 15 nearby daycares who almost all had waiting lists); then I got my wisdom teeth removed and had trouble with that so I went back for a follow-up visit; and when I finally could chew regular food again, I ended up with a stomach virus after eating a few of my favorites the day before (the 3rd stomach virus I’ve had in less than a year by the way). Not to mention, I skip a lot of the social events with my classmates because I lack the same freedom they all have and I choose not to drag my toddler to everything (which in turn isolates me more). There have even been weeks I was fighting depression, but I’m grateful to God that outside of a few pimples (that have left blemishes on my face), I don’t look like what I’ve been through!

All things considered, I knew what I needed, deserved, and had been craving for a while. I needed and wanted to finally feel good physically, mentally, and emotionally … and I needed to feel alive. I was fully aware that I needed to be around like-minded people who genuinely make me laugh hysterically and with whom I don’t have to minimize my true personality around or assimilate into a mold I don’t otherwise fit into here beyond my intellect. Weekends with my girls (and any combination of them) always make me feel normal, like old times. It’s a break from monotonous routines, cause we all need that from time-to-time. Last weekend was nostalgic, it was almost like our fun-filled college weekends. We laughed hard, we vibed, we ate and drank good, we joked on each other, we sang and danced a LOT, we played games, and we stayed up way past our bedtimes; and though it made me dread getting up in the morning every day this week, it was all worth it! As the kids are saying now, last weekend “owes me nothing!” This might sound strangely obvious to some, but it feels good to be treated like a regular person, like you’re not just a classmate/officer, not just a wife, and not just a mommy. I’m not a monolith. While I am grateful to hold all of those titles and more, there are layers to me that go beyond those titles. My friends make me feel seen and heard as just Jessica or Jess - the fun, funny, happy, rappin’, dancin’ friend - and I appreciate that. Although I have changed in some ways, I’m still the same at the core, the same friend they’ve always known who still loves a good time, I just have a few extra layers now.

Good friends: may we have them and may we be them.

I’m a believer in the necessity of girls trips. That weekend was what I needed to push through. I thank you ladies for being the breath of fresh air. People traveling to be where you are, no matter where you are in the world, is truly unmatched! I can also not thank my parents enough for being such amazing grandparents who always willingly step in to be the support I need, I love and admire you dearly because you are truly irreplaceable.

Until next time …. see you in the comments!

This one is dedicated to all the girls …

Let’s chat …

Do you agree that girls trips are necessary? Why or why not?

to view the weekend reel …