4 Cops, 4 Traffic Tickets, 1 Stop, 1 Night
It Could Have Been Me.
In December 2012, a few days before my 22nd birthday, I was pulled over by 4 policemen; and by policemen, I mean, ALL men, ALL white. At the time, I was living in Birmingham, AL, attending the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB), but finals were over, Christmas break had began, and I was off work for a few days so I was heading home to Montgomery. During this time period of my life, I was in an on again, off again situationship with this guy, we’ll call him Doofus since that was his name in my phone, and as far as I was concerned, he acted like a clown. Doofus lived in a small city that was south of Birmingham, which meant I was going to pass his exit on my way to Montgomery. However, if memory serves, I had worked that night and it was already pretty late (maybe like 9 or 10pm), so I was kind of in a rush to hurry home. Nevertheless, if you can imagine old cartoons where the character would be torn between doing what’s right and doing something wrong, so appears an angel on one shoulder and a red devil on the other - basically I came to that crossroad. As for Doofus, he was toxic, he was a liar and he could not be trusted, this I knew because I had caught him up in some stuff before. Anyway, that little red devil rode my shoulder hard that night and I couldn’t shake him! So what did I decide to do? You guessed it! I was going to do a drive by. For you old folks, a “drive by” in this case, does not translate to shooting up someone’s house or anything violent for that matter. Now, that’s clarified ….. He didn’t live far off the exit, so “this shouldn’t take long,” I thought. Now I’ve never been the type that just wants to start trouble with other people, so whatever I discovered, I knew I wasn’t going to make a scene. It’s almost like I just needed confirmation that he was doing something wrong again in order to cut him off completely. But anyway, this isn’t about him.
I got off on the exit where he lived and navigated to his house. On the way, I passed a school, but it was late at night, so of course there were no kids there. Shortly after, I pulled into his neighborhood and approached his house. I noticed his car and another I didn’t recognize, but I figured it was family. There was a specific car that belonged to a specific person that I wanted to verify was or was not there. It was not, so I quickly left, feeling silly for even doing it. Feeling that way had nothing to do with the car not being there though, or that I should finally trust him now, I felt stupid for succumbing to the act in the first place. I rushed out of there, as to avoid being seen on the rare chance that could happen. I sped past the school. I just needed to get back on track to where I was supposed to be going, which was home to Montgomery. Next thing I knew, blue lights were flashing behind me! It was very dark in the area I was passing so I continued to drive instead of stopping immediately, but I wasn’t going fast. Matter of fact, I was never going that fast in the first place, over the speed limit when I passed the school apparently which is why he pulled me over, but not over 45 mph. My parents always told me that if I was ever pulled over at night, I could slow down, but continue to drive to an area that is well lit and where there are people (if possible), so that’s what I did. I knew I was approaching a Burger King that was still open, but apparently the cop thought I was trying to run and felt the need to call in some back up to make this stop. There was a mini-shopping center next to the Burger King so I stopped over there. When I came to a complete stop, that’s when two additional cop cars, one with an additional cop in the passenger seat, pulled into the parking lot. I was instantly agitated. To me, that whole encounter was uncalled for; I believed they were making a scene, a mountain out of a molehill. It was a small city though, and I reckon they didn’t have much else to do that night. I don’t remember much of the verbal exchange between myself and the one cop who came to my window, except that he was actually pleasant. Still, he wrote me a ticket for going over the speed limit in the school zone. I’m sure my demeanor screamed how annoyed I was with all the overkill and for getting a ticket. I regretted even deviating from my original track home. At that point, I felt more stupid for trying to check up on this Doofus. Nonetheless, the little red devil hopped back on my shoulder. One of the extra cops was standing in front of his car, looking right at me as I pulled off. Since he wouldn’t give me my face back, I took this opportunity to flick him off as I rode out of the parking lot. I wanted to get away fast after doing it though, but the light was red and I had to make a right turn out of the parking lot. That cop came after me and wrote me 3 more tickets down the road - running a red light, failure to yield the right away, and failure to signal. The rest of this story is to be continued …
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In our current climate where animals are more protected than black lives, I would never, ever do that again. I was young, silly, pissed off, and rebellious and it could have easily cost me my life. I was book smart, I was beautiful, I was loved, and I had a lot going for myself, but that one lapse in judgment would have been highlighted in the media as justification for being shot, an inaccurate portrayal of provocation; yet the reality is that I would not have deserved to be killed over using my middle finger. That said, I thank God for extending his grace and his mercy to me. Back then, no one was there to receipt the encounter on camera and not only that, phones weren’t then what they are to us today. The only story that would have been told is that from the cops’ perspectives, which probably would have been exaggerated and fabricated. What if they had viewed me as a threat because of the color of my skin? What if they had said they thought my finger was a gun, which caused them to pull an actual gun on me? What if they had claimed they felt threatened or feared for their life? I could have been another casualty of a “routine” traffic stop involving four white policemen and one, unarmed black person, gone awry. I could have been another Sandra Bland. I could have been another Philando Castille. I could have been another Willie McCoy. I could have been another hashtag. I could have been another face on a t-shirt, name on an obituary, and body in the grave. My family and friends would have been saying my name, but the vast majority would be oblivious to my once existence. It’s daunting to even consider, but it is the unfortunate reality of so many black people.
I urge everyone to not just talk about what’s going on as it relates to police brutality and racial injustice, find out ways that you can be a vessel and act in ways beneficial to the cause of justice. Although we have grown to be sick and tired of being sick and tired, that’s not enough! We must not live in fear, we must act; but my personal idea of acting does not include being destructive. Black people, we must also hold ourselves accountable. Nobody has permission to kill us, NOT EVEN US. Must I say it one more time for the people in the back? NOBODY has permission to kill us, NOT. EVEN. US. We must value each other, ourselves as a people. If you are outraged because of recent events, that’s good. If you are fed up, that’s good. Channel that anger and do something positive to erect change! We have to do more than wear paraphernalia and make social media posts all day while in the comfort of our homes. Lost on where to start? Go here to learn about all of the ways you can help. Curious about what I have done? I vote. I have signed various petitions in the last few days and I have made some donations to a few causes.
Lastly, I implore you to relax, relate, & release. Our emotions are heightened and with everything going on, it’s easy to simply become overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, and mentally drained. Take a step back from social media and news media. Take a bath, take a nap, drink some wine, go for a walk/run, listen to music, read a book, or whatever it is you like to do when you need a mental break. You owe it to yourself.
Have you ever been stopped by police and feared for your life?
What are you doing to help in the cause of justice?
#BlackLivesMatter
