Bubbles BURST
unwoman
noun
• a low-ranking female in society who is deprived of womanly qualities, violates codes, and is incapable of positive social integration.
Last week this time, I had not long returned to work after having a celebratory breakfast with my husband. A few hours before, I was sitting in a court room like a smooth criminal, but for a crime/accusation I was not guilty of. I wasn’t worried, just unsure. I had God and a lawyer. The latter was worth it but seemingly costly considering his role only took about 5 minutes max, out of the 2 hours we waited just for my turn to approach the judge. The best part? The plaintiff (whom I will hereafter refer to as an Unwoman) didn’t even show. Now some of you may consider that a victory, but if I’m honest, it further infuriates me. It was a waste of time and energy … So how did I end up here you ask? Well, I DO TELL. So, get your teacup ready, you may be sipping for a while… ☕️
In September 2021, my husband picked his daughter up on her birthday (a Thursday) and we took her to Chuck-e-Cheese’s that evening. Unbeknownst to him she had Covid … for the last week, she had been with her mother and older brother who had both tested positive, which we found out later (through other sources might I add). Though the Unwoman had gotten herself and son tested, she did not test her daughter, we did, and it was not until then that it was confirmed baby girl was positive too. The day after her birthday, I was scheduled to fly out for drill weekend with my son, but because I had been exposed, I had to cancel my flight and miss drill. Because I was not vaccinated at the time, I also had to cancel a trip that I had planned for the very next weekend, the money for the event was non-refundable. During the two weeks that I had to quarantine, I had to work from home, which is cool for most people I know, but is very difficult for my job. Not only was my, my son’s, and my husband’s health jeopardized, so was the bag (i.e. my money, wages, dollas). Nevertheless, I asked the Unwoman to have her daughter tested again to make sure she was negative before she returned to our home (but I was unaware at the time that this was no longer protocol). Fast forward, our first quarantine ended just in time for a pre-planned birthday trip to Vegas for my husband. On our flight to Vegas, my husband had a strange episode where we thought he was going to pass out but he recovered and we went on with our weekend. However, throughout the entire weekend in Vegas, he was not himself, he was very tired during the trip, and he was not eating much, he lost almost 30 pounds in a week. We didn’t even thoroughly enjoy our trip. When we returned, he finally took a home test and was positive for Covid. I can reasonably assume it was through his exposure to his daughter 2 weeks before and not Vegas because he was not right before we got there. Covid’s incubation period lasts up to 14 days and yes it can take up to 14 days for the virus to build up in your system. I didn’t end up contracting it, but yippee, another 14 days at home for me, unable to go into the office! 🙄 The weekend following Vegas, was my October drill; I ended up having to cancel another set of flights and was unable to attend drill for the second month in a row. This also meant another month of not seeing family and friends, family not seeing my son, and him flying for free before it came to an end (because he would be turning 2 in the coming months). The icing? Leading up to drill weekend, I had received some threatening texts from an unknown number in defense of the Unwoman. I don’t make idle threats and have no respect for people who do. Apparently these people read my blog and stalk other forms of my social media where they are able to piece together things that I share … but I’m not hiding. So if you’re reading this, YOU CANNOT BEAT ME! At this point, you might as well join me, or leave me the heck alone!
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31 NIV
After all of the Covid mess, we pulled up to the little league game to support baby girl's cheer team. The Unwoman knew we were there, but as always, avoids us, out of what I see as fear. The Unwoman has always been all talk as long as she can hide behind a phone or computer (because this has gone on for years), but when face-to-face which is rare, RADIO SILENCE. I mean so quiet you can hear a pin drop, so quiet you wouldn’t even believe it was the same person making all those false promises and empty threats, so quiet … CRICKETS! Will not even make eye contact. On the way out of the stadium, I approached her to inquire about those texts I had been receiving, amongst other things. The Unwoman’s response was immediate denial, a bunch of lies, then expletives. The conversation escalated until I was face-to-face with the opp and then … she shoved me and was subsequently removed from my personal space. I thought, “she gon cry in the car…” I was right. Oh she cried alright, she cried wolf right downtown in the Sheriff’s office where she filed charges against me. First it was a restraining order – DISMISSED with the quickness. The Unwoman was unable to answer yes to either of these questions posed by the judge: 1) Does this person have a history of stalking you? 2) When you're at the grocery store, your job, your home, is this person always showing up? Ma'am stop wasting our time and tax payers’ dollars. This is BS. And how do you show up in court for this nonsense, but not for custody of your child? Disgusting.
“Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.”
Romans 8:33 NIV
In December, I was finally back at drill and was informed that an IG complaint had been filed against me by the Unwoman. Additionally, along with the restraining order, she filed an assault charge. This was the jugular. Because the trial couldn’t take place in my absence, but took place in hers, this hung over my head the entire time I was away in training for 5 months, wondering if the reason I was there would all be in vain. She came for my career and livelihood. Her jealousy and disdain for me allowed her to stoop even lower than she had before, to jeopardized benefits for her daughter that she herself cannot afford to provide. The gall. In her statement, the Unwoman mentioned the presence of children during our exchange. To this day, I don’t know if she called Child Protective Services on us or whether her statement alone caused us a visit from them on 3 different occasions before I left. Either way, embarrassing.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done ...”
Genesis 50:20 NIV
Upon my return to the city, I spoke with my lawyer’s office, and the trial date was finally set. I was anxious to put this all behind me. As much as I attempted to ignore it, it was still the source of a lot of undue stress. After about an hour of sitting in the courtroom with my husband and a host of other people just observing, my lawyer finally showed up, gathered his clients’ paperwork, and bee-lined to the judge in between cases. Eventually he called my name, I raised my hand, and he came by me; this was the first time we had ever met each other in person, but he informed me that the case was probably going to get dismissed. Every time the courtroom doors opened in the back, I wondered if the Unwoman would be the one to walk through; she never did. Then it was showtime. I stood beside my lawyer, humiliated that things had even gotten this far, but after a few exchange of words between my lawyer, the judge, and the prosecutor, the judge dismissed the case. I didn’t have to swear on the bible, I didn’t have to say a word. It was quick and easy. What a relief! My thing is though, when you make a claim, stand on it, show up and see it through. But you did all this for what? I guess since the burden of proof is on the accuser however, it was too much of a burden for the Unwoman to bear. Heavy.
“Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”
Psalm 110:1
It’s taking everything in me not to hold malice in my heart towards this person, but I know that hatred would only lead to my own demise. I don’t wish bad on others, but I do hope the Unwoman gets everything that is coming to her, in Jesus’ name respectfully. I am extremely disappointed that the Unwoman is also (as far as I can see), an African-American or Black mother, daughter, etc. Black women we must do better. What do you stand to gain by trying to make someone else lose it all? I am not interested in a future where we Kumbaya together (though we do need the Lord to come by here), the damage has been done and the erosion didn’t just start last year. I am however, looking to live my life in peace, drama-free. #SoftLife me please! Ideally, we would all move forward amicably for the child’s sake, but right now I don’t see a future where that is realistic. I am dusgusted. So, please do not tell me what I should do to smooth things over with that person, because I have been sensible and civil. Also, please do not tell me that things will get better with time or anything of that nature, because you do not know that and neither do I. Genuine compassion is welcome, but telling me how to feel is not. Genuine prayers are welcome, but judgment is not. #CaseClosed.
