A Letter to My Rainbow Baby

Maternity Photo Shoot featuring Jaithan Maverick

rain·bow ba·by

noun

1. a baby born after the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth or death in infancy. These babies are endearingly called rainbow babies because during the aftermath of a storm, a rainbow often appears, gifting us with a renewed sense of hope.

My Jaithan Maverick. My rainbow baby. My SONshine. The baby boy I always wanted. 
God gifted us with you in only His perfect timing. We weren’t expecting you, but we became very excited when we discovered your existence. The best moments in life are those that are unplanned by us and planned by God. You are just that. 

After we lost your older brother/sister March 2017, almost 3 years ago, there were times I was unsure if my relationship with your dad was repairable. During that loss, I was mad at and even turned away from God for a while, believing he had failed me, shamefully I must admit. Mommy and daddy prevailed however. And then, God gave us you and he made you absolutely perfect. After the storm, we conquered so much and we experienced so much more, but you are our greatest achievement together, thus far. 

You have power that you aren’t even aware of. You helped restore my confidence in my ability to carry a child; not just through the first trimester, but until the end. Proclaiming that your presence is a gift is an understatement. I’m elated that you are mine and that I get to experience you. You are everything I prayed for and everything I dreamed of, but nothing I could have ever fully imagined. Having you is surreal, but loving you with all of me is one of the realest feelings I could ever experience. We needed you. You are a win. And I am in love all over again. You are proof that dreams do come true. You are truly something special. 

I love you

I started writing this letter while my baby was still in utero. I will continue to write him letters as he grows. When he was born, my mother gifted me with a journal; the cover reads "Letters to my Son As He Continues to Grow." I will gift this journal to my son when he is old enough.