Hello 30 🥳
To say that I am excited about turning 30 is a bit of an overstatement. I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life, yes, but I am not quite mentally ready to be kissing my 20s goodbye. Birthday blues is what I would attribute this apprehension, anxiety, and slight sadness to about turning a new age. Not that I feel like 30 is old, but I liked being the youngest in the crowd of people I am most around. My husband and all of his maternal first cousins are older than me (but he is the youngest grandchild on his mom's side anyway), almost all of his friends and their spouses are older than me, and all of my coworkers are older than me. Obviously, all of these people will remain older than me, but in my 20s, it was more of like a clear distinction lol. Now that I am turning 30, I feel like that imaginary line in sand is being erased.
I have a dear cousin who just turned 40 and it hit me yesterday that that will be me in ten years (if God blesses me to see it)! I thought of where I will be in ten years, what I might look like, how I will dress, and what kind of things I might be into. Will I still have the same friends and get to go on girls trips? Will we be living in the same city, same house, and driving the same cars? Will I still have the same job? What will my kids be doing? What will the world even be like? Will the pandemic be over? Will wearing masks be an item of our everyday wardrobe? I was taken aback from all of these thoughts. It was daunting. I was perturbed and disturbed. When I calmed down and thought about it though, I can't even remember what it was like for me turning 20; and if I'm being honest, I hope that I forget feeling like this when I turn 40, ten years from now.
To celebrate turning 30 though, I went on a girls trip to the cabins with 3 of my best friends, one who is also turning 30, five days after me. We had an amazing weekend, it was too short though (but I always feel this way after trips). Celebrating the dawn of a new decade during a pandemic was not the same as I imagined it would have been under normal circumstances. Mostly because of the pandemic but also for individual personal reasons, some people are more leery of traveling; that said, not as many of my friends were able to celebrate with me as I would have liked. That sucked. For years, I have not being able to celebrate my birthday exactly the way I would like, which contributes to why I have been getting birthday blues almost every year since turning 25. Having my birthday on Christmas day kind of cheats me out of the experience of celebrating with others most times. Outside of my birthday though, I get excited about Christmas, I especially love decorating for Christmas. I always have Christmas spirit, just not birthday spirit, though it's hard for me to separate the two. Nevertheless, this year being around my friends who have already or will be turning 30 in the next couple of months, helps me snap out of the blues and in seeing that I am not the only one getting old-er, a sense of calmness about this next chapter is renewed for me.
On a happier note, if we are being real, I achieved a lot in my 20s but please don't take this as bragging. I am very humble, I'm just being transparent. I experienced living on my own (with friends but away from parents) and being independent, I joined the best sorority ever founded (Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. - as if I even had to say it), I graduated from college with a Bachelor of Science degree, I graduated from graduate school with a Master of Science degree, I joined the military and have been deployed (veterans status me please), I went on a cruise and met the love of my life, I married the love of my life, I bought a car on my own, I had the wedding of my dreams, I experienced a beautiful pregnancy and had the most perfect baby boy, I traveled to various states and out of the country a few times, I was selected to become an officer in the United States Air Force, I landed a six figure job, we bought a house, I bought my dream car. Whew, GOD IS AWESOME! I experienced extreme loss too during my 20s and that is why I am humble and can rejoice for all of the good things.
“Write the vision and make it plain..." Habakkuk 2:2. So, in this next chapter of my life I hope to start a thriving business with my husband, I hope to turn my passion into profit (this blog), I want to get more IT certifications, I want to experience living in a bigger city, I want a better relationship with God, I want my husband and I to travel and spend more quality time together, I want my friendships to continue thriving, I want to be able to bless my family, and I want my life to slow down to a point where I can sit and just be sometimes.
My mom always said that the only way you don’t get old is if you die young. Well, I just want to be forever young in spirit as I get old-er lol. Good riddens to my 20 somethings and cheers to 30 year old me!
