Happy Birthday Baby Jai!

When Our Baby Boy Entered the Group Chat

Today is my perfect angel baby’s very FIRST birthday!!! That said, I have been wanting to share our story of his arrival since he arrived, but I kept putting it off until I finally decided that I would save it for his birthday. Heads up, this post is long, but if you have been tuned in for a while, you know I’m heavy on the details. Let’s get into it!

January 12, 2020

January 12, 2020 started out as any other normal Sunday for me and my husband. We were invited to lunch with some friends at their house that afternoon, but that morning, we woke up, we talked, and we chilled. I was only seven days away from my due date, but I had been anxious in the weeks leading up to my due date that I would go past it. Due to my own superstitions, I dreaded going past my due date, simply because I thought it would be cool if my baby ended up being a Capricorn like me. Silly, I know lol. Plus, at my weekly appointments in the last few weeks leading up to my due date, I had not dilated AT ALL. Anyway, I had heard of the different “techniques” that can be applied to soften your cervix and/or help induce labor (I‘ll let you do your own research on that lol), so I decided to give one of those techniques a whirl, with the assistance of my husband. Following that, my husband made me breakfast, but when I sat down at the table to eat, I told him verbatim, “I’m not saying today is the day, but something doesn’t feel right, I don’t feel right.” He shrugged it off and probably went on about cleaning up the kitchen. After I ate, I took a shower and got dressed, but something just wasn’t right. I wasn’t myself but I could not explain what exactly I was feeling. Funny as it was, around noon, my friend who I had met in Kuwait texted me, “You still pregnant?” My response to her was a laughing emoji followed by “for now at least … I’m having some kind of slight pain but not sure what it is quite yet…” Coincidentally, I had been getting texts like this throughout the weekend from line sisters and friends. I finished getting dressed and I reiterated to my husband that I just didn’t feel right at which time he asked if I still wanted to go to our friends’ house. I wasn’t in excruciating pain or anything so I decided we could still go because I don’t like cancelling plans.

When we arrived, they met us outside and the immediate question was about my due date, which then prompted us to tell them that I was feeling off but I wasn’t sure what it was. Inside we chatted and they teased the entire time that the baby was coming soon. I was trying to be jovial but as time went by, the worse I started feeling because the pain got sharper and more frequent. Throughout the evening at their house, I kept having the urge to go to the bathroom to urinate, but it was barely anything there. We finally ate and the food was delicious. We had chicken, rice, kale, and I honestly don’t remember what else but I remember those three items the most. It sounds simple, but it was really tasty, and greasy, so greasy that the whole time I was eating, I thought to myself that if I was truly in labor, this food might not be good for me later on. I had heard the horror stories about pooping during delivery and although it is quite common, I did not want that to be a part of my delivery story.

We were still at our friends’ house when around 3 o’clock, my mom called (which she rarely does) and asked how I was doing. We had not talked that day, I had not even told her how I had been feeling because I WAS IN DENIAL! I had been in denial about whether I was experiencing contractions or not. Though I had felt contractions before when I miscarried, it was hard to relate the pain. Additionally, I almost felt like if I called what I was feeling on this day contractions, then I would be giving it power and truthfully, I wasn’t exactly prepared to have my baby on that particular day. Anyway, my mom diagnosed what I was feeling as contractions and confirmed that I was in labor. She was also perturbed that I had not called and said I must have intended to wait until the baby got there to tell them to be on their way. See, my parents live in Alabama (7.5 hours away), but my mom had most of her things packed, while my dad had to quickly throw his together. On this particular Sunday, they had planned to attend a later service so they still did not leave Montgomery until a few hours after we talked (7 pm central time). At 5 o’clock I was texting my mom, “I think we will be at the hospital by tonight.” Also by this time, I was ready to go back home.

On the ride home, my husband just kept looking over and smiling at me while I winced in pain. I finally got annoyed about his smiling as if something was funny, but he was just happy. It was actually cute. Once at home though, I decided to sit in a warm bath. To keep me company and distract me from the pain, my husband brought an ottoman to the side of the tub so we could play Trouble. We played a few rounds of that, but by this time, nothing could really distract me from what I was feeling. It was intense and indescribable. I was ready to go to the hospital and I told my husband that I wanted to go by 8 that night. I had packed the baby’s bag, I had not packed everything for myself, but I had an idea of the things I wanted to take with me. My husband, like my dad, had not packed a thing, but no later than 8:15pm, he had his bags packed and all of our belongings in the car.

When we arrived at the women’s hospital, we checked in and I was taken to the triage area fairly quickly where they did all of the preliminary stuff, inquired about my symptoms and took my vitals, the norm. Then they assigned me to a room in triage. When the nurse came in to evaluate me, she asked had my water broken and I told her that it had not. After all of these hours, my amniotic sac was still intact. The nurse checked my cervix and to my dismay, after all of the hours I had been in pain, I was only four centimeters dilated. She informed me that we could wait in that room for an hour and if I dilated one more centimeter, I could be admitted (five centimeters dilated or a broken amniotic sac is an automatic admittance). The nurse even tried to break my water herself so that I could go ahead and get admitted. Her attempt was futile so we just had to wait that hour out. During the hour we had to wait, I started bleeding a little. This freaked me out but I was told that it was normal and the baby’s heartrate was being monitored the whole time so everything was fine. I tried to focus on happy thoughts like, “Man, I’m about to have a whole baby out here!” But the pain was distracting. The only thing that helped a little was back massages from my husband while we waited.

The hour passed, the nurse re-checked my cervix and we were good to go! This was exciting, I was getting closer to meeting my baby and it started feeling real! The nurse escorted us to a delivery room. Once we got into the delivery room, my husband set up the oil diffuser and turned on music that I like. Part of my delivery plan was to have an all natural birth with no epidural. However, I was in so much pain and though time was passing, it felt like my progress was stagnant. I continued to bleed some but was told it was normal. There was a nurse or two who stayed with me the whole time at this point, and the nurse midwife who would deliver my baby, checked in on my progress periodically. There were so many other medical people who were in and out of the room, I don’t even know who they were. The triage nurse even came back to check on me again. Until my water broke though, I was at a standstill.

Eventually I started feeling nauseous and I felt like I was going to vomit so they gave me the blue bag. Remember that greasy food I had eaten earlier? ALL of it ended up on the floor beside my delivery bed. It was at that moment that my water finally broke and then the dilation picked up. The contractions were excruciating by this point. The contractions were whupping me so bad that I wanted to cry but I couldn’t even cry. In my mind, I “fussed” out every woman on earth who had had multiple children. I could not reconcile how women endure this more than once, making it seem easy and stuff. I was mind blown. I knew there was a reward at the end though and that is the only thing that kept me going. I tried getting in different positions but I felt the most comfortable just being still. All along I had been determined not to get an epidural but I started second guessing myself and was this _ close to changing my mind before it was too late. My husband kept reassuring me that I could do it and that it was almost over so I stuck to my guns and never got the epidural. I remember getting to seven centimeters. Then moments passed again and the nurse midwife came back for the final time when I asked how far along I was, she responded that I was nine centimeters. I then said, “WELL I’M READY TO PUSH!” She snapped on her gloves and said, “I think we’re about to have a baby!” Everybody scurried into position. I had two nurses on each side of me who coached me on when and how to push. I must reiterate that everybody I encountered at the hospital during delivery was so encouraging, comforting, and sweet. My husband stood towards the end of the bed so that he could watch the baby pass through the birth canal. They had a mirror positioned where I could also see. I don’t know how long I pushed, but delivery was the shortest part of the whole experience. I literally only recall pushing a couple of times and then walah - a beautiful baby boy entered the group chat (the world lol)! It was January 13, 2020 at 1:41 am. To be continued…

God, thank you for choosing me to carry and deliver such a precious life.

Baby boy, I am so proud and happy to call you mine. You are everything I dreamed of but nothing I could have ever imagined. I am thrilled I get to experience you and love you. You are one of the best things to ever happen to me. I love you with everything. Happy First Birthday!!!