The Ugly Truth About Breastfeeding
This post is brought to you in honor of National Breastfeeding Month.
Ugly Truth #1: Breastfeeding is HARD. I said it before and I’ll say it again. It’s no walk in the park.
Reality Check #1: It’s so funny to me how my mom’s generation was mostly breastfed, then when they had babies, many of them formula fed their babies, and now my generation has normalized breastfeeding again for their babies. As a breastfeeding mama, you are the sole source of milk, so you’re on duty around the clock, either nursing or pumping every couple of hours. That’s tough; but our bodies were made for this!
Ugly Truth #2: Nursing solely/primarily [IN MY OPINION] is even harder. You lose a bit of freedom essentially, especially if your baby downright refuses bottles.
Reality Check #2: Latching/nursing is a one-of-a-kind experience; NOTHING compares to it. Many women attest to the bond that is created between themselves and their baby when they nurse. However, when your baby is a latch-only baby, you become the only person able to feed your baby during every feeding. Some women may take pride in that, while others might find it daunting. From the beginning, I decided I would latch, but I would also express milk to bottle feed so that a bottle wouldn’t be foreign to my baby and so that he wouldn’t starve without me. I also knew I would be going back to work eventually, so I needed my baby to become familiar with bottles. In comparison, for me latching beats having to drag out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to go prepare a bottle when my baby is hungry. When you’re exhausted, it’s just quicker and takes less effort to pop that baby on a boob so you can get back to sleep quicker! Nursing also means less items to pack when you’re on the go. I love not having to worry about packing bottles, keeping them cool or having to heat it up when he’s ready. Latching for the win on that!
Ugly Truth #3: It is time-consuming.
Reality Check #3: For as long as you are able to or decide to breastfeed, it feels like you are always on the clock. If you’re not nursing, you’re pumping, and if you’re not pumping, you’re nursing. Every other hour is what it feels like in the very beginning when the baby goes through the cluster feeding phase. You’ll feel like you can’t catch a break, but you will. Things will eventually level out and hopefully you get into a rhythm. Keep going!
Ugly Truth #4: Separation anxiety is real.
Reality Check #4: It may be you, your baby, or the both of you experiencing this. I had not had a whole day or more away from my baby since he was born until two weekends ago, and honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to it at first. Thankfully, the separation wasn’t even as bad as I imagined it could be. During my weekend getaway, I still had to pump around the clock and I didn’t get any additional sleep, but I was able to thoroughly enjoy myself and only be responsible for myself. I must admit it was a shallow breadth of fresh air. Adding to my ability to keep calm was not having to worry as much. The good thing about my baby is that he takes well to other people; he’s pretty friendly. He does not just cling to me + he was with his dad, which means he still saw a familiar face on those days, as opposed to being kept by someone new and unfamiliar. I really missed my baby though and couldn’t wait to get back to him! Although I was enjoying myself, I was counting down the hours til we would be reunited! I’d bet almost every mom feels this way.
Ugly Truth #5: You may have to change your diet.
Reality Check #5: Some of the saints are gonna be like, “wait whet?” And then some women are going to do this anyway because of the “what you eat, the baby eats” sentiments. If you discover that your baby does not handle certain foods well or is allergic to certain food/food groups, breastfeeding becomes even more challenging if you’re not already on a restrictive diet. If your baby is uncomfortably gassy, fussy every time he/she eats, refuses to eat, spits up excessively, etc., something you’ve been consuming could be setting your baby off. You could consider how common food allergens (eggs, soy, fish, and dairy) might negatively affect your baby and modify your eating habits. This could be drastic for some people. I have personally tried cutting out soy and dairy and it’s very difficult! The older babies get though, the more mature their digestive system gets. Time flies and before you know it, you’ll be able to add all the foods you love and crave back to your diet because in most cases, your baby will be able to tolerate them better.
Ugly Truth #6: Going somewhere? Might want to consider if your outfit is going to be suitable for breastfeeding while you are out.
Reality Check #6: Breastfeeding requires careful outfit choices. Certain tops, dresses, jumpsuits, or body suits aren’t going to be conducive to seamless boob access when it’s time to latch (or pump). This is something you don’t normally think about if you’ve never experienced it, but if this is minuscule, then maybe your wardrobe lacks much variety anyway.
Ugly Truth #7: If you are uncomfortable popping your boob out at any moment anywhere and around anybody, you’ll have to plan a little more.
Reality Check #7: Not that I am completely uncomfortable nursing in public, but I do take steps to avoid it when I can and I have nursed in my car on a few occasions. I also decided to get a nursing cover to use in public if I ever need to. In an effort to avoid both of those alternatives, most of the time, I try to plan my trips a little more carefully by making sure my baby is fed before we leave or within an hour of us heading out. This helps calm my anxiety about being out with him. When we’re among people we know, I rarely dismiss myself to go nurse my baby. It feels awkward. Nine times out of ten, I remain present and just cover up instead. Normalize breastfeeding!
Ugly Truth #8: Sometimes it hurts.
Reality Check #8: Frequent latching or attaching (a pump) can make for some sore nipples. I have found that 100% pure coconut oil works to ease the pain/discomfort. I was put on to this post delivery at the hospital because it’s safe for the baby to nurse after applying, unlike nipple creams that instruct you to wipe off your breasts before baby latches. To me that’s counterproductive but if it works, by all means! Also, some women develop mastitis - a painful infection of the breast tissue resulting from a blocked milk duct or bacteria entering the breast. Mastitis usually occurs within the first three months of breast-feeding. It’s very common and can be relieved by antibiotics.
Ugly Truth #9: You might find that certain people around you can be discouraging towards your breastfeeding journey.
Reality Check #9: Learn to tune people out, especially the naysayers who have never breastfed a day in their lives. Women who have never done it, might not even understand it. Some people think it’s easier to just give your baby some formula because that’s what THEY* want to do, not realizing that you can’t just give a breastfed baby some formula all of a sudden instead and expect they will like it. So if you make it your business to breastfeed your baby, don’t let anyone deter you! Do your research, join support groups that promote breastfeeding, seek professional help via your doctor or lactation consultant, and connect with people you know who are actually doing it!
Ugly Truth #10: Sometimes you just straight up feel like giving up! “I’m over it,” you might say.
Reality Check #10: Truth is, you’re tired; and I get it, I’m there a few days a week now. When the supply doesn’t seem to meet the demand, it plays on your mental. “Is he eating more or am I REALLY not producing as much, or a combination of both?” “Is it the pump or is it me?” “Did he get enough?” “Is he still hungry or just fighting sleep and need something to gnaw on?” “Okay, we got a good bit today! 👏🏾” “I can do this for a little while longer.” “If I stop now, I won’t make my goal but maybe I’ll be happier or have more freedom.” These thoughts and questions resurface multiple times a week for me. I’m simply trying to make it to my one year goal and every other day, it feels like the odds are stacked against me. However, I tell myself, ‘Stick it out! Push through. You can live to pump and nurse another day!’ Lol. I get reminded of these lines from the poem Don’t Quit
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow
You might succeed with another blow…….
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
See it through sis, you were made for this!
Now, I hope I didn’t discourage you; but if you’ve read any of my other posts, you know I’m always going to keep it a buck! Even with all things considered, I really love breastfeeding and believe I will truly miss it when it’s really over. I like the idea of it. I like being the source of my baby’s nutrition. Plus, saving money on formula is not so bad either. I want to encourage you, I believe every mother should try to breastfeed in the beginning, even if it does not work out for the long haul for one reason or another. Truth is, breastfeeding can be complicated, there’s a science behind it and it doesn’t end up working for every woman. It’s still worth a shot though! At least you’ll be able to say you tried it and one ounce of breastmilk is more beneficial than zero!
There are so many benefits in it for you and your baby. Breast milk provides babies with tons of antibodies to bacteria and viruses the mother has been exposed to, giving the baby a natural immune system boost! When nursing, breastfeeding is better for supporting proper jaw, teeth, and speech development in the baby. Ever wondered why some women lose weight seemingly so quickly after giving birth? Well, breastfeeding expedites shrinking of the uterus. Now that’s the science behind that “snap back” that people glorify when a woman posts a postpartum body pic on social media. Lastly, breastfeeding has somehow been linked to lower risks for breast and ovarian cancer.
All that said, breastfeeding is not easy, we just make it look that way! Let’s continue to normalize breastfeeding. Regardless of what you choose, FED is always best. Happy Feeding!
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