“It’s Just Hair”
That sounds good, right? Girl bye! I’m not here for it! lol. That’s one of those common “feel better” cliché's said about something we don’t actually feel great about; another one of those baseless, positivity messages lol. To go along with “it’s just hair,” is the next hair message that we must rehearse to believe - “I am not my hair” - shoutout to India Arie. We appreciate you for that iconic song girl, and though it may be true, the reality is that head hair holds some sort of sentimental value to most of us. Although I am relieved that I can embark on a healthy hair journey again so that my hair can thrive, I am also coping with the disappointment of having to cut inches of my hair that took me so long to grow. So when people say, “oh it’ll grow back,” I cringe. I’m going to be honest, I hate that one too lol If you’ve said these things to me though, there’s no harm no foul, I know you were just being genuine and I truly do appreciate your efforts to help me feel better!
I believe that most people who are blessed to have hair, take pride in it. That’s why when we lose hair or we’re compelled to cut it for one reason or another (as in my case), there’ can be an emotional response that follows. Hair aids in confidence. When I posted pictures a few weeks ago about my new haircut, I thought I was happy about it. In fact, I was at first, but in reality I was torn; I had mixed feelings. On one end, it was a relief to eliminate dead ends so that my hair could start flourishing again. Then after reminiscing and replaying the earlier conversation with my hair stylist, I got extremely sad. My mood changed later that night, so much so that it was noticeable to my husband because it showed on my face. I do not have a poker face at all. That poor man thought he had done something wrong lol
My hair is like my crown and I honestly haven’t felt as confident or comfortable with this new look yet. Having gotten used to a big “crown” and then having to decrease its size because otherwise, it would have only gotten worse, was a reality I am slowly coming to terms with, even though I had talked about it for months. Cutting was something that I probably needed to do long before I actually did it. Instead of chalking it up to “it’s just hair,” in a false attempt to make myself feel better about it though, I’ve been making light of it on social media - a perfect concoction of speaking your truth so that no one else can use it against you lol
Flashback to 2013 and I’m back to that length. Frankly, I’m not a fan, but in honor of those battling hair loss, I’m grateful to still have hair.
On an honest positive note, some things about my hair that I love though, are its thickness and natural brown color (even though I dye it black and other colors from time-to-time). I’ve been trying to pinpoint where I went wrong along the way, like how did my hair get into such a negative state. I have come to believe that life stressors, one’s overall health and nutritional diet, and genetics all play a pivotal role in hair growth. In the past, I’ve been guilty of comparing my hair growth to those of others (though comparison is the thief of joy). I’m going to switch my focus now though. Although it may seem like I’m complaining about what others may feel is minuscule, and I am venting; but I also try to go about tackling problems with a solution-based approach. I’ve dreamt of having long, natural hair for years and I’m always inspired every time I see a Black woman with healthy-looking, long, natural hair. Maybe that’s not God’s plan for me, but just in case it is, I’m going about this thing differently this time around. So, here’s my list of things I’m doing on my new hair journey:
1. No oils on my scalp. I believe excessive amounts of oil on the scalp creates build-up that over time, clogs pores, especially when your scalp is not properly cleaned regularly, and slows hair growth. Black women, we love oils and their use is highly debatable just like every other natural hair practice/trope. Right now, I don’t care what all the other naturals are doing, as for me and MY already flakey scalp going forward [at least for the next 6-12 months], I will not be “greasing” my scalp with any oils. However, I will still use oils on my hair strands, especially my ends.
2. Deep conditioning every wash day and sometimes with heat. This is a MUST for me this time around; it’s essential. In hindsight, it’s something I wish I had done more of sooner. Deep conditioning is to healthy hair what leg day is to body building.
3. No styles that put stress on my roots or ends. For me, this includes braids, faux locs, crochet styles, sew-ins, etc. I will not be doing this for the next 6-12 months. However, we stan a great wig so I’m going to be investing in more of those!
4. Decrease the heat. Sometimes I shampoo my hair at night and in order for it to be dry by morning, I’ve sometimes used a little heat to help dry it faster. I also relish in that extra-stretched look. Yeah, I’m going to be doing even less of that. If my hair ends up being damp by the next morning, oh well!
5. Professional hair appointments regularly. I will be visiting my favorite natural hair stylist (Rachel’s Royal Styles of Greensboro, NC - @rach.royalstyles), once a month or every other month for trims and protein treatments. Rachel always does a fantastic job with my hair. She is bomb, super cool, super sweet, and very personable. Rachel knows how to get some natural hair together! Get ready to see me more often girl.
6. Biotin Vitamins. Yes, I’m trying this again with a goal of being more consistent than I typically am with taking anything daily. I purchased some plain ole Biotin “extra strength” right from my local grocery store, not any of the gimmicky stuff they sell on social media. We’ll see if this helps…
All in all, I do believe my hair is going to grow and it’s going to grow better and healthier this time. Feel free to challenge yourself with me. Here’s to HEALTHY hair, regardless of where you are on your journey!
